Vanity Stalking

Hollywood is known for being full of vain people, however I find this to be only partially true. Some people are and some people could careless. Just see who keeps up with Hawaiian shirt day at the office.

However, there is one place the vanity of Hollywood does not disappoint.

Vanity Plates

Never before have I been in a city that has so many vanity license plates. It’s a true accomplishment.

Admittedly, I’ve never understood why anybody would want to go the extra mile, or pay the extra fees, for a specialized license plate. However, it does take some immense creativity to put what you want to say on a license plate.

The main issue is you have a limited number of characters to work with. California plates have up to seven. This might be universal, I’m not sure.

I am sure it’s hard to be clear about what you’re saying with seven letters. Even more so with just six.

ENODEN? That could translate to ENglish ODor ENcyclopedia. Maybe? Perhaps it’s Elevated Network Of Devout Early Notaries. Yeah, that has to be it.

What do you think?

But, even when the words are clear, the meaning can be muddled.

KINGDAD? What do you mean? King of all the dads? A king and a dad? A dad with the last name King or a king with the last name Dad?

Wait, I know. KINGDAD means IHAVEAHUGEEGO, but that wouldn’t fit on the plates.

Perhaps we should establish some sort of vanity plate translation booklet. That way these little confusions can be cleared up.

Although, there are some people who know how to write clearly in vanity platenese.

That’s a solid message. The person clearly hearts LDAVD. They love LDAVD. Or, LDAVD has a stalker. A very dedicated one.

This might be the perfect example of a Valentine’s Day gift gone wrong.

In any case, I would just like to thank the vanity plate owners of Los Angeles. You all make my commute much more entertaining.

Time to go sit in traffic.

-Zac

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