Twitter Tales

I joined Twitter some time ago, and for no particular reason. Mostly, I was just curious about microblogging and how it fit into my experience with the internet.

For the first while, I was completely unsure what to do with my Twitter account, @GloryLollyTree. Like many others, I began with overwrought thoughts and random pointless updates about my meal choices. It was odd to relive, in microcosm, some of the same experiences I had finding footing with this blog.

However, I eventually stumbled upon the idea to do a weekly event with my Unusual Good Tidings. While I can’t claim this gave any real direction to my Twittering, I do enjoy the weekly moments of absurdity.

More recently, I’ve found a new way to use the microblogging site…

Twitter Tales Glorified Lollipop Tree - Shaded - Tiny

I found that Twitter is a great way to blow off a little creative steam in a series of small bursts by telling random little stories. One of my recent Twitter Tales went as follows:

–“Where’s my spork?!” he yelled randomly…

–“I’ll tell you where it is,” she yelled back. “I shoved it straight–“

–“In the damned dishwasher!” he cut her off, as he pulled his precious utensil from the automated machine. “Why do you always do that?”

–“Well after you sucked down that whole pizza, I figured you were done with it. I’m still wondering why you can’t pick up after yourself!”

–He looked her over, the anger boiled in his head. “You know I ain’t done. I still got my JELL-O cup!”

–“You found your damned spork, go ahead,” she said to the red-faced man.

–He asked, “How am I supposed to use it now? This spork’s been fraternizing with the other dishes–it’s dirty!”

–“You can always wash it,” she said, pointing out the simple yet obvious answer.

–“I don’t do dishes,” he reminded her. “Not since…that bad experience…”

–“With the garbage disposal. I know. Got you that mutt just to cheer you up after that.” She looked over to the old hound as it slobbered.

–He went to pet his mutt, and the dog picked up it’s heavy head…and licked the spork his master was holding.

–“You always know just how to fix these situations,” he said to his dog, and then used his freshly cleaned spork to eat his orange JELL-O.

Clearly these types of tales lend themselves to the wonderfully absurd… or perhaps that’s just me. In either case, it’s a fun way to tell a brief story. I treat it a bit like a form of writer’s improv. Yes, I make up my Twitter Tales on the spot as I type them. It adds to the fun.

As to when I post new Twitter Tales, that too is a bit random. So… if you wish to see any of my other Twitter Tales, such as the one about the existential crisis of a trio of coat hooks, please be sure to follow me on Twitter.

I’m open to prompts for any new random stories, so feel free to make suggestions.

-Zac

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