Unusual Good Tidings 2012

  • [01/04/2012] “May your hamburgers always be served with cheese.”
  • [01/11/2012] “Good luck on that dental exam.”
  • [01/18/2012] “Your legislation is so shiny! Just look at how those hidden thorns sparkle!”
  • [02/01/2012] “You have such a fickle shadow, Mr. Groundhog.”
  • [02/08/2012] “You’re hardware store sells the best plunger money can buy.”
  • [02/15/2012] “You’re chocolate caramels stick to my teeth better than any other. Now if that’s not a sign of true love, well…”
  • [02/22/2012] “You make the most royal king cake I’ve ever tasted.”
  • [02/29/2012] “OMG this is the best sweet sixteen ever. You, like, look totally mature and old. I mean, like, really old.”
  • [03/07/2012] “I love this library. I find the best notes written in the margins of your books.”
  • [03/14/2012] “This is the most amazing variety of math flavors I’ve ever come across. My brain is salivating.”
  • [03/21/2012] “Congratulations… it’s furry!”
  • [03/28/2012] “May all your dreams come true…even the one about the boss sprouting wings and horns.”
  • [04/04/2012] “Congratulations, you won the April Fools competition! Your award will arrive in the mail by April 31st.”
  • [04/11/2012] “Well done, you got the job! Now let’s settle you into middle management.”
  • [04/18/2012] “This is my favorite waiting room. Where else can I find Good HousekeepingSkeptic, and Highlights in one place?”
  • [05/02/2012] “What a beautiful wedding! I must know who choreographed that drunken stumble to the altar.”
  • [05/02/2012] “…and eleven. Congratulations, there’s a bonus toe!”
  • [05/09/2012] “The asymmetrical beauty of your detour signs makes sitting in this construction traffic completely worth it.”
  • [05/16/2012] “That donut shaped cutting board really works in your kitchen.”
  • [05/23/2012] “Mr. Weeble, it is absolutely impressive how you wobble but don’t fall down. Do you give lessons?”
  • [05/30/2012] “Your tweets about your self-published drivel are captivating. Wait, you should write a book!”
  • [06/06/2012] “This is a great vessel. Does the skull and crossbones flag come with it, or do I have to steal that too?”
  • [06/13/2012] “These fans are the best. I bet this baseball team saves plenty on security costs.”
  • [06/20/2012] “I really enjoy your sunny disposition Mr. Summer Solstice. And you keep it up all day long.”
  • [07/04/2012] “You sure put a lot of sparkle and sprinkle into your chocolate firework cake.”
  • [07/11/2012] “You make the coldest Slurpee — Brainfreeze! — I’ve ever had.”
  • [07/18/2012] “That penguin’s directions are always so wonderfully simple and straight forward: first head North…”
  • [07/25/2012] “You have such a lovely voice. Now, could you please be quiet?”
  • [08/01/2012] “Count Chocula, you always leave behind the best chocolate milk.”
  • [08/08/2012] “Nice lanyard.”
  • [08/15/2012] “Your time machine looks so timeless.”
  • [08/22/2012] “You have really shiny door knobs in this house.”
  • [08/29/2012] “The grass is so much greener on your side of the fence it’s actually glowing.”
  • [09/05/2012] “That is a short building, Mr. Architect.”
  • [09/12/2012] “Hey Clown, nice shoes!”
  • [09/19/2012] “That’s a really colorful thermometer, Doctor.”
  • [09/26/2012] “Now that is one attractive calculator. I need to push those buttons.”
  • [10/03/2012] “Now that’s some really salty brisket!”
  • [10/10/2012] “Dude, killer mud flaps.”
  • [10/24/2012] “And they look real!”
  • [10/24/2012] “That’s a beautiful horn.”
  • [10/31/2012] “You look great in heavy makeup.”
  • [11/14/2012] “You have a lovely punkin chunkin technique.”
  • [11/14/2012] “That is a beautiful trebuchet.”
  • [11/21/2012] “That’s a beautifully dressed turkey. Are those pants paisley?”
  • [11/28/2012] “May your cookies always have lots of chocolate chips.”
  • [12/05/2012] “May your tequila never have the worm.”
  • [12/12/2012] “This is the twelfth twelfth-day of Christmas party I’ve been to today, and it’s way more twelve than the other eleven.”
  • [12/19/2012] “May your cake pops always be moist.”
  • [12/26/2012] “That is the sappiest Christmas tree.”

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